On Taking Shade From The Sun While Waiting For The Bus: Like Evesdropping On A 79 Year Old Man Hitting On A 75 Year Old Woman

(I dedicate this one to a friend of mine who will probably never read it. But since you can...enjoy!)

Judging from the title you can guess with much certainty what happened to me this week. Operation: Christmas Ham - The Undo Version has restarted (and yes it nearly killed me). Despite the tight chest, back and arms I can still stretch when I yawn and not cry like a baby from the pain. I can touch my toes, hey! I can see my toes when I look down! (that's always a good sign). Sadly though, I still fit the mold of "Skeletal Study" as all but four of my ribs are now visible. You may be wondering by now what that all that Christmas food really did to me. Well it sure didn't make me fat but it did make me lazy. So I can still feel the negative effects of the beginners exercise programme.

I had an interesting week but one of the things which I remember was when I caught the bus...*shock*...and...*awe*. On Saturday, I went to a youth convention. Since our car broke down I had to catch the bus to town. There were three people waiting for the bus: an old man, an old woman and a male youth. As I waited for the bus to come I overheard the old man and the old lady talking about some of their old friends. (Actually I heard the word "girls" and decided to sign into the conversation). I listened as the conversation went on until the old woman reported the obituaries. To which the man replied, "I'm 79." By then I had stopped listening and fully immersed myself into their convo.

The man wore khaki slacks with a crease that could cut steel, white sneakers and a black leather belt. His(90's hip-hop styled) polo was not only pressed smooth as ice but was neatly tucked into his pants. He wore a V-Tech cap and brown shades - maybe his eyes were too strong a lure for the unsuspecting, or even suspecting, female to gaze into. He had more swag than Steve Jobs has mac. Girls wanted him, men wanted to be like him. His secret? "I drink Mackeson and eat oats and barley and take a shot of brandy every now and again."

The old lady was in disbelief that the man was really 79 because he "look good for [he] age." And the conversation ensued:

- "Girl I know I look good but I can also do this..." The man began to raise his left foot.

- "Yes! Yes!" the lady encouraged.

- "But not only that. I can do this..." and the man raised his right foot. Now if the lady was young she would have been hopping with excitement like a pre-teen standing in Justing Beiber's presence (the ones with the strength to stand) but she simply said, "Yes! Yes!" and bounced.

- "But not only can I do that. I can do this..." Placing his arms akimbo, he bent down and began to slow wine.

- "Yes! Yes! Yes! Wuh all you want is some girls now."

Yes, all he wanted was girls. He did voice his concern.

So I'd like to thank our sponsors: Mackeson, the makers of oats and barley, the makers of brandy, our wardrobe designers and of course our inefficient bus system because without you we would not have a story like this.