Six weeks ago, school started. I continued my trek toward my first degree in September full of energy and dripping with wisdom and insight. When I came back from the youth camps and after I turned 21 I felt like I was wiser. It was interesting. For one, the ground looked farther away than before and a lot of things that I observed either made sense or reminded me of something I learned as a youngster - even that phrase had new meaning..."youngster". I was excited to be at school, excited to continue school and excited to finish school.
Six weeks later I am lying down in my bed, on the advent of mid-terms, asking like Elisha "Where is now is the God of Elijah?" Now we can bridge our gaping mouths with our palms because....Christians don't doubt! But let me be honest and quote Shakespeare "If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die?" (this last one I'm not willing to test) Am I not as much a human as everyone else? As my second favourite rapper said "We recognize that life's hard. The difference is instead of drowning we trust the Life Guard." Life's hard...life guard.
It was once said that it is the object of faith that makes faith faithful. Two weeks ago I was at a bible study session where the topic was faith. The leader asked us to define faith and then give some examples of when we had to exercise our faith. Everyone did that and talked about how God came through for them etc. I didn't want to play Devil's advocate (especially at bible study if you get what I'm saying) but I thought about all those times when he didn't "come through". For example, when David fasted for 7 days and asked God to save his son and the child still died. Or when I studied hard and believed that I got an A and still failed Differential Equations. What then?
Should I still obey God even when he didn't do what I wanted? During the vacation I had a talk with a friend of mine and I asked her, "What have I done to make God love me?" Often times we believe that it was our will that caused God to save us. It's easy to think that God is our genie - we just rub him with the fingers of belief and our wish is his command. But that's not the case. To recognize that God will do whatever he pleases with my life scares me sometimes. I mean, I think that it is so easy for him to just not give me straight A's or B's when I worked my tail off and trusted him. But I know why he does whatever he pleases. He does it so that in all things, people will see my good works (and his) and praise Him, and not me. He does it for his glory, not mine. And this is a comforting, yet humbling fact.
God is good. It is his nature. Job said, "Though he slay me yet will I trust him." (Job 13:15). That sounds all fancy and would really get more than a few "Hallelujahs" from the congregation but when Job said that he was surrounded by 3 wise men who told him that God was punishing him. Job recognized that God was sovereign and good. You know, the funny thing is that anything that God does to us other than exciting his wrath on us is all because of his goodness. Evil is to be punished. You and I, we think evil, do evil and speak evil. Yet we're still breathing, unpunished. Not because God is a wuss but because he's so good that he's giving us an opportunity to know him.
A lot of christians today base their relationship with God on what he has done for them. So God is good when my teacher falls ill on the day of the mid-term and we have an extra week. Or God is good when I find out she
Sometimes people ask me why am I a christian. It wasn't my choosing, he chose me. He has something to do in my life. He has something to do in yours. If I never get anything from God it doesn't stop him from being God, it doesn't stop him from being good. (Yeah I would be a lot disappointed, maybe slightly miserable). If I never get anything from God I would still be glad that he gave me life and a chance to know him. I am contented to know him.
"So I cry refusing all the lies
Pain is my ally when aligned to who you are
There's more to my scars so I know there's more to yours.
I'm resting in your arms
I'm resting in your wrists
I'm pressing with a limp pain is purposed through your gift
I'm strengthening my grip may this faith in you persist
And when this half insists I pray you breathe in me
Amazing is your grace cus while I'm holding you it seems
The truth of the matter is you're really holding me."
- Half of Me (Sho Baraka)
2 comments:
I've never heard of faith failing before, I've read all about people not believing and things not going as they should, but faith failing doesn't compute in my mind, to me it is like saying pure water wont freeze when taken below 32 degrees.
But you are right, people do tend to see God as only as good as their circumstances are. No, God is good, because He doesn't control your circumstances, He can only do as much in your life as you allow Him!
Thanks for the response Ben.
Faith can fail because it is the object of faith that makes faith faithful. That is, it is not about how much you believe but IN WHOM/WHAT you believe. The point was what happens when we believe for something and don't get it - as you have stated in the second last sentence.
The other point was believing alone does not make things work in your favour. Romans 8:28 puts it well
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