Happy

Now let's begin our story...

What is the week after Easter called? I know, sad. Ok, so only for this year was that week sad and that's because sad stuff happened. I find it amusing when people say "Boy, I wish I had your life." I sit and I think about it for a short moment...my life...I don't blame them for thinking so. From the outside all, if not most, is well. I'm smiling, I'm not hungry and I'm not crazy. I don't hate life and I love what I do. (And I still have the time to write blogs lol) But then I look at my life from the inside, all the disappointment in people and myself; the struggle I went through to find out who I am; and all that jazz waiting to scream "Hello World!" when the music stops. And as I was telling a friend this week, I am who I want you to see me as (in essence).

The rain came this week, like almost everyday. I was glad for that because I thought I would catch up on some sleep but as I quickly found out, I need to hibernate in order to get back to operational level. I spent most of my time at school in the library getting my brain taken care of - light work often instead of heavy stuff. On Thursday I was talking to my friend Dario about what I was going to do when I leave UWI. My dreams were to go get a masters and then look for a job - simple, easy but not always right. He asked me why I was doing it - a question that I tend to overlook at my convenience.

So I thought about it and that brings us here. For some strange reason I began to think "What would make me happy?" Coming down the checklist of things I began. Would a car make me happy? Would a degree make me happy? (From what recent graduates tell me, that's a no) Would a wife make me happy?

Oh wait, come to think of it, this question was posed to me three times on three different days this week...

The good thing about history is, whether or not we learnt from it, it repeats itself. The Israelites thought that getting a king would make them happy so in 1 Samuel 8, they asked for one. So God told Samuel to give them one and tell them what they have done to me and what he will do. So Samuel told them that they have rejected God as their king and how they would get exploited by the king and he will take the best of their lives but they said "No! Give us one." and Samuel said ok and gave them one. And you can read 1&2 Kings, Chronicles and Samuel to see what happens after that. I said that to say, be careful what you ask for. Sometimes what makes us happy is what we have. Greed is a dangerous thing.

Secondly, the disciples thought they knew what would make them happy. Jesus told them to seek God first and his righteousness and they would have what they need (and they would be happy). Some people do the wrong stuff to get happy. Like Kanye West sang "The prettiest people do the ugliest things for the road to riches and diamond rings" The other question is then a matter of HOW we become happy. I mean, everything costs something, doesn't it?

We all go to school (or went there) for some strange reason. We all live for a reason. In the midst of all I have and all I've done so far, I ask myself, "What will make me happy?" Am I not happy already? Don't I have all I need for now? The story is given about a fire, the sea, a dog and a man. The fire burns, consuming everything around it. Then it stops. The sea, a mysterious monster, sinks anything it can and drags it to the root of the mountains. But it stops when it gets to shore. Why is that? A dog: Man's best friend, yet at the slightest scent of food it can ransack your house and leave it bare. Yet it lies down next to its bone, sleeping. Why not? It is already satisfied. Then there's man - arms behind his back, with an impatient stare in his eyes as if he could speed up time. He stands at the gate of castle waiting. For what? Man is never satisfied..